Can't
help but feel like this is a big comeback. I started my blog back in
2011 under the name of 'Adelita a nagyvilagban' (small Adel in the
big world) when I moved abroad from Hungary to start university in
Denmark. The aim of my blogging was to keep people (whoever was
interested) posted with what I was up to (social media wasn't as
advanced at the time). I carried my blog through my time in Denmark,
Greece and the very beginning of my life in England. But then
something changed (which I think must happen to a lot of people
sharing their lives on virtual platforms), what in the beginning felt
like genuine calling, became more and more like a chore, with no more
words left to share... And I have never been one to put a mask on and
pretend something that is not in my guts, so I stopped blogging
completely and got on with life. 8 years later, here I am in the
middle of nowhere (Faroe Islands), with basically not much 'action'
to report back on my life, and yet, bursting with words to share.
What is different this time? My life has been on a crazy roller
coaster ride over the past few years (with a lot of highs and lows)
which made me start looking within myself to make sense of the
journey I am on.
Back in
January this year I started an Instagram account called Bohosoul
@_bohosoul_ (the word comes from bohemian soul) separate from my
personal one wanting to share my journey to self-discovery as part of
my quest to live life in mindfulness, swimming towards inner peace
and happiness within. Since moving to this remote place, away from
what I now refer to as the modern world, the calling has become
stronger and stronger to restart my blog (this time in English and
under the same name that my body, mind and spirit Instagram account
runs on) with the aim to be a genuine voice that empowers people to
dive into the deepest level of their soul and reconnect with their
true self (I know... scary stuff, right?!)
Over the
last few years, I couldn´t help but feel like I was an `outside the
box` person. Not only because of the countless moves across 5
countries in the space of 8 years, but also for the growing feeling
that `norms` didn`t fit me, or rather, not consciously, but I didn`t
fit them. This might sound crazy but the first time I realised this
was when I was living the dream of a Monday to Friday life working
in an office environment after spending several years surviving on
4-5 hours of sleep, going to uni in the daytime whilst working a full
time job at night with no weekends, Christmas nor New Year`s Eve like
a `normal` person would have. There I was with my `balanced` life, I
could finally go to sleep at night, have the weekends to myself and
after 4 years, spend Christmas at home with my family (was never that
bothered about missing out on the forced New Year`s Eve partying, but
not being able to sit at the dinner table with my family at Christmas
for years did break my heart) and yet, I felt more out of balance
than ever before. Without giving it much thought, I assumed this
feeling was what people call work stress (and anyway, once you step
into the world of recruitment, you are kind of expected to experience
high stress levels to indicate you are doing your job right). So I
put the label `stressed` on myself like everyone else would, being
stuck in the hamster wheel of the 21st century.
To keep
my `stressed` label in check, I started running. First, social runs
with a running club I joined in Manchester, just to get the `feel
good` endorphins flowing. Then, very soon, those levels of endorphins
weren`t enough to get me feel good so I started running long
distances and before I knew it, I was averaging 120K months training
for my second marathon last April. I love running and I do consider
it to be of my greatest teachers in life that trained my brain to
push through when things get rough, but looking back now I should
have realised that as much as I thought I was dealing with my
problems with the intense training I put myself under, I was actually
running away from having to face the the fact that I wasn`t living a
life that would ever fulfil my heart and soul. Don`t get me wrong, I
am not saying everyone who runs, runs to get away from something, but
sure as hell I did at the time! And it took me an injury (which
prevented me from running for 3 months therefore my stress relief
channels were blocked all the sudden), a very dysfunctional
relationship and an alien face (the right side of my face swell up
from one day to the other, which the doctor diagnosed as mumps) to
realise I couldn`t keep running away anymore from some very difficult
realisations regarding the direction my life was taking and how much
out-of-touch I was with myself. So to start my soul-searching
journey, within the space of 24 hours I decided to quit a career that
was killing my soul with no job to walk into, broke off my toxic
relationship and got on the first flight back home to pick up the
pieces (and yes, I was in pieces at the lowest point I had ever been
in my life). Why am I sharing all this openly? Because as much as I
had no clue what I was going to do with my life, one thing I was
certain about: we have one lifetime in this existence and we owe it
to ourselves to live a life that we feel empowered by, and that comes
with tough choices, with the ability to change circumstances and with
faith that dark times come into our life giving us a chance to pick
up the pieces and build a better one through us working on becoming a
better version of ourselves, every single day.
Since, it
is a blog piece not a novel, I will elaborate next time on how on
earth I got moving to an island in the middle of nowhere with more
sheep than human population, but for now my message is this: If you
find yourself uncomfortable in any aspect of your life, don`t come up
with excuses as to why that discomfort is a normal part of life
because it shouldn`t have to be (regardless of what the `norm` says)!
Trust yourself and generate change even if you don`t see the light at
the end of the tunnel (yet) because you are worthy of more than just
a mediocre life!
Sending
love to all the beautiful souls out there, happy Thursday! x
