Faroe Islands, here I come!

Number 7 has always carried a special meaning in my life, popping up in unexpected moments as a sign that something good was about to happen. I will never forget, there I was at the boarding gate in Copenhagen waiting for my connection to the Faroe Islands when I saw on the screen that my flight number was 777... fate was sending me a message that as much as I was out of my mind when I decided to take a leap of faith by giving up my whole life based on a one-way plane ticket in my inbox and a vague telephone conversation about a job waiting for me in a place I had never heard before, everything was going to OK. I have to admit, for a brief moment I did question that when the captain before landing announced that due to the short runway space he was going to have to use the breaks harder than you would expect on any other flight whilst looking out the window there was no land to be seen only the ocean beneath... but before I could get to the end of my prayers (as I always say, I am too young to die with a VERY long bucket list full of experiences still to be ticked off) the plane touched ground and I heard 'welcome to the Faroe Islands' on the speaker. Like a little girl stepping into a new and unknown world, I took a moment to stop on my way off-boarding and take the first encounter with my new life all in. The sun was gently stroking my face (I caught one of those lucky moments), the freshness of the air amazed me instantly, vibrant green grass was covering the mountains of rocks on the left and there was the ocean on the right as far as eyes could see. A plane full of passengers just got in and yet there was this echoing quietness and stillness all around. And then a scene from a TV show called 'Men in trees' flashed back in my mind when Marin Frist from New York, wearing high heels arrived to the remote village of Elmo, Alaska and stepped into a muddy puddle getting off her plane (I wasn't wearing high heels but I had two of my favourite pairs carefully packed in my bag. It very soon became clear that I would probably not use them much when I saw a tractor parked on the side of the runway at the airport that only had two boarding gates...). I couldn't help but wonder what on earth had I signed up for?!

And here are the brutally honest facts: I live in a single room (I haven't slept in a single bed since I was at uni in Denmark) in a house with one bathroom (shower and toilet in one space), one kitchen (there wasn't even a chopping board when I moved in) and one washing machine to be shared among 7 of us. And when I say 7 of us (not such a lucky number in this case), I mean me and 6 other men above the age of 40... one who I hardly ever see sober, one who I hardly ever see not being high 'on life' (who also proposed me joining him and his girlfriend in a threesome if I was up for some fun), one who is under strong medication to control his mood swings (and has his mother coming over to clean his room regularly), one gaming addict whose loud speaker I would love to throw out the window, one on long-term sick leave and there was my safe heaven not only keeping everyone in check but taking me under his wings, another crazy enough Hungarian who arrived a few weeks before me (he moved out since, leaving me alone with the battle to try to keep up basic hygiene levels in the house cleaning up shit after people, literally.. ). After living in my studio apartment on my own, in the comfort of a fully equipped household in Nottingham, now I am paying the same amount of rent for this new, rough and minimalist life experience. To top up the challenging living situation, I arrived to the Faroes with no laptop (it gave in 2 days before my flight) and a phone with a broken speaker so there were no movie nights or Youtube for Adel, just an old school mp3 player and two books for entertainment for a month that initially felt like eternity. Back to basics in the deepest sense of the word...a scarf became the yoga mat for my morning pilates, I mash potatoes with a fork, what I can cook depends on what kind of groceries make it to the island on shipping day, no survival goodie parcels from home without VAT paid on them and certainly no smuggling of home-made palinka through customs (perks of living in a non-EU country), one single shop where you can buy alcohol (it closes at 5.30pm on weekdays and 2pm on Saturday), coffee shops with no plant-based milk available (vegan options when eating/drinking out are nearly non-existent), and Sundays when life stops and nothing is open. Is it intimidating to all the sudden find yourself in 'stone age', in what it feels like being away from modern civilization? You bet!

But you know what? I am very grateful for this journey because it has kicked me right out of my comfort zone more than I ever thought it was possible. It has made me re-evaluate a lot of things within myself. It has made me recognise the need to learn to unlearn certain ways, beliefs, mental and emotional programmings that I had been living all my life with before I got here. And let me tell you, as overwhelming that can be at first, it is not only refreshing but extremely liberating. The moment you manage to detach yourself from all the attachments to your comfort zone, minimalism becomes surprisingly comfortable because you realise you need a lot less to feel alive than you think. All you need is to find YOU under the layers of 'stuff' (both emotional and materialistic) that you have subconsciously grown around you. Layers that we tend to hold onto even if they don't serve us. Toxic layers that we don't recognise to be toxic until we are made to let go of them. Stuff that distract us from living in the now.

Here I am at the age of 28 with no settled life, partner nor kids, starting from zero in a new country for the 5^th time, living like a hippie in isolation on a remote place (where the biggest action of the week is to decide which day to do my laundry), making pizzas for a living. According to the expectations of modern society, I may seem like I am running behind on life's schedule because we ought to get a good education, get a well-paid job, buy a house and a car, acquire social status, meet our 'better half', get married, have kids and die. But where is finding true happiness and inner peace within ourselves detached from external factors and living life with a passion among those expectations? How could we ever live a fulfilled life if we don't know how to fulfill ourselves on the first place? And how could we ever fulfill ourselves if we fear a phase of solitude focusing on soul-searching?

Yes, my life is as far from settled as it could possibly be but through this journey of self-discovery I am coming to feel the most settled within myself that I have ever been. Yes, I haven't found my partner for life yet but looking at the patterns of my past relationships I came to realise that subconsciously I always chose 'projects' (people to be fixed) rather than focusing on doing the fixing-up on me so I decided to use this place and time to put the 'under maintenance' label on myself instead. Yes, another move got added to the list of my wanderlust lifestyle (some may describe that as me being a runaway bride not being able to settle in one place) but I would rather embrace the consequences of following my intuition in search of happiness than to settle into a life driven by the fear of change. Yes, my living situation is far from ideal but that is the price I am willing to pay for the life lessons teaching me that when your intention is stronger than the circumstances you find yourself in, you will always find a way to make it work. And yes, I am making pizzas for a living but for the first time, I love going into work because I love what I do, I have an amazing boss that I can look up to both on a professional and personal level and I am part of a team that makes me feel respected, valued and included.

The island became my soul retreat place. An experience that people in the western world pay large amounts of money for in one of those soul retreat facilities with the aim to reconnect with themselves, heal, find inner peace, learn to live in mindfulness and gratitude and discover their purpose in this existence. And here I am surrendered by breathtakingly beautiful nature, feeling like Alice in wonderland everytime I see a rainbow on the sky, feeling more alive and happier than ever before simply because the island life triggered a shift in my mindset. I know my situation is quite exceptional and don't get me wrong I am not saying everyone should leave their comfortable life behind and move to a remote place to experience the wonders it can do to the spirit but my message for today is this: No matter where you are and how busy your life is, take time out for yourself. Just like you take time off to go on holiday, take time off for that inner journey, to check in with yourself, regularly. Nourish your bohosoul so you can shine and share your light because the world needs it!🦋

Happy Tuesday x

Never stop looking for magic!

With an ocean view, I am sat at my desk watching how the waves are hitting the coastline with full force generated by the stormy wind that never seems to stop. Everything is grey and with the constant fog that hasn't lifted from the island over the last few days, it is difficult to say where the ocean and the sky separate. For a girl like me, who all her life has considered herself to be the child of sun, it is a foreign concept to find beauty and comfort in this still greyness, and yet here I am with an even more foreign concept in my heart and soul not feeling like I am in need for a holiday (despite the unkind weather conditions) to check out from my life for a few days. Well, I would certainly not say no to a plane ticket to Barcelona (to my favourite place on earth, I could never say no) but for the first time in my life, I am in love with the grey (literally) everydays.

Back in January when I thought my life was falling apart (let's be honest, no wonder it was as I consciously decided to press the 'restart' button on every single aspect of it without having the 'what comes next' part figured out), I couldn't stand the creeping greyness inside me. There I was back home with my parents crashing on the couch, not only jobless but careerless and heartbroken, out of a relationship that had blinded my better judgement to the point that I had thought I would be marrying the guy one day. Looking at my life felt exactly what it feels like looking out the window right now...dense fog everywhere and no ability to see with clarity regardless how hard I was trying to look in the distance. I felt empty, lost and mortified that at the age of 27 the girl who has always jumped through the hoops looking at the bigger picture, all the sudden had no bigger picture to keep moving towards. I was full of questions regarding life and myself with no answers except one:

'We're all going to die. We don't get much say over how and when, but we do get to decide how we are gonna live. So do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.'

So I decided that since I was going through the most intimidating time of my life, I may as well approach it as a blessing in disguise instead of absolute chaos. A chance that people very rarely get to start all over, and I really mean ALL over. And the moment I shifted my mindset from 'oh my world, my life is falling apart' to 'oh my world, I have a completely blank page in front of me that I can colour with bright colours as I wish', that creeping greyness has lifted from my mind, heart and soul. I felt completely free and in control at the same time because I realised I am the one holding the key to my own happiness, I just had to be bold to get out there and find magic. After very much needed 3 therapeutic weeks back home in the safety net of my wonderful family, I finally felt ready with regained strength to get back on the plane to Manchester where all I had waiting for me was rent to be paid. But I was excited, I had nothing yet I had everything because my bohosoul was finally back! I had this insane, weird and inexplicable feeling in my gut that despite all the options that would suggest me packing up my stuff and leave the UK behind, I still had unfinished business to do there. Magic was waiting for me, I just had to make space for it to enter my life. I truly believe in the law of attraction and that our thoughts and emotions shape our reality. So I had to start shaping my reality by doing the hard work on myself. I started running again but this time to reenergise my whole being not to please my ego. I did a 7-day juice cleanse to detox my body, mind and spirit (I know some might say it is radical to only consume vegetable juices for a week but for the last 4 years, my annual juice fast always worked wonders on me). I got my vision board done (the process of deciding what it is EXACTLY that you want to attract into your life has magic powers in itself), taken my situation among other things I wrote on it 'job that I love' in bright purple letters and hanged it on the wall opposite my bed so that would be the very first and last thing I would set my eyes on each day. I didn't know what that job would be (very difficult to start the job hunt when you don't even know what key word to put into the search bar) but I was sure of one thing: I didn't just want a job to pay my bills, I wanted a career driven by passion that would get me out of bed each morning with excitement and a booming smile on my face... That 'do what you love, love what you do' sort of work (now you might understand my troubles when it came to job hunting)... Not much to ask for, right?!

Weeks passed by scrolling through hundreds of job advertisements and I found nothing that would get me excited (remember, I wasn't just looking for A job). And then fate knocked on my door when I spontaneously bumped into a friend I hadn't seen in years (and just like that, your whole life can change in an instant!) who was in the process of starting her own pizza business. Long story short, I was asked whether I would partner in and although I knew nothing about making pizzas, I knew this: I love cooking (with a successful gastro blogger mum, genuine passion for cooking is in my veins), I love the craziness of hospitality (and being stuck behind a desk, away from face-to-face customer interaction made me realise I missed hospitality more than I valued the 'freedom' of having a Monday to Friday schedule) and playing a key role in a start-up whilst putting everything I had learnt about business in uni would get me one step closer to my dream of running my own vegan cafe one day. So the only question was, could making pizzas for a living make me happy??? Well, well, well...the first time I hand kneaded pizza dough was love at first sight... and seeing how the babies (call me a mad woman but yes, I refer to pizzas as babies) come to life through fermentation, balling up, stretching and then baking was magic. And there it was what I had been searching for all this time but couldn't find the keyword to put in the search bar of google for... MAGIC that fills my heart and soul with excitement, passion, love and happiness! So I packed my stuff and after 3 years I said goodbye to Manchester, moving back to Nottingham where it all had started 6 years ago. Life has mysterious ways, sometimes you find yourself back to square one after walking around in a circle and yet you arrive back to the starting point as a very different person to the one who left the very same place. Moving back to Nottingham after all these years taught me that sometimes you need to lose yourself (as hard as bearing that feeling is) in order to really find yourself.

There I was living and loving life to the fullest. The business was going great, I was earning money being in complete control of my own schedule while doing something I loved, living in my studio apartment (at the age of 27 living on your own for the first time feels like THE official step into adulthood after years of shared apartments), with a buzzing social life surrounded by wonderful people (making up for the golden university times that most have, which I never had a chance to tap into while balancing full time night work with daytime uni commitments for years). I was high on life, with a sense of belonging, feeling like I was home for the first time since I had moved away from Hungary. My dad always says life aims for balance, so when things are going too great, you should kind of expect shit hitting the fan at some point. Well, it certainly did big time when my greedy and insecure 'business partner' decided to sneakily and quietly push me out the business (life lesson learnt, never get involved with anything unless papers are signed and sealed no matter how much you think you can trust someone!). And there is was fate again, knocking on my door once again, at the most incredible timing. As it became more and more apparent that on paper I would never become business partner like I had been promised no matter how much I was putting my heart and soul into getting the business up and running, I got a message from a friend completely out the blue asking whether I would consider coming to the Faroe Islands to make pizzas. I was like, where to??? (I have to admit, I had no clue which side of the earth we were talking about...)

Before I knew it, my happy dance BBQ that I was in the process of organising for my birthday got the 'farewell' noun added to it. I had no logical explanation for my decision to leave my life behind of the 6,5 years in the UK (it wasn't even a matter of packing up my stuff and move, it was a matter of picking stuff out and moving with 2 bags to completely start from zero on a remote island where I don't speak the language, I don't know anything or anyone and with no direct flight to take me home if something was to go wrong), it was more like a calling, fate telling me I just had to trust the opportunity that I got presented with jumping into uncertainty once again. Even for a girl like me who is a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, making such a drastic and quick life-changing decision was mad. But hey, I have never been known to play it safe as in the end we only regret the chances we didn't take. And I had my butterflies wings to keep me safe! That is how fate brought me to the land of lambs, waterfalls, rainbows and maybes exactly 2 months ago and I got to say, I couldn't be more grateful for this journey! Since this blog piece once again got long enough already, I will elaborate on my remote life here the next time, but my message for today is this: Life is unpredictable. Hardship, challenges and uncertainty are thrown at us with the aim for growth. Be bold, take chances and never stop believing that everything you encounter in life is there to serve you with a purpose. Life lessons to be learnt, changes to be made, work to be done on yourself, and all of that for you to become a better version of yourself! Fight for your bohosoul against the odds because happiness never comes easy but it is certainly worth it 🦋

Happy Saturday! x