'You are going to be
happy,' said life, 'but first I'll make you strong'.
I grew up with
travelling being natural part of life. As a child, I was on the road
to Romania with my family a lot visiting relatives and getting lost
in the woods up in the Transilvanian mountains (where life was as
remote as it is here on the Faroe Islands), or on the road to Croatia
to indulge in the Mediterranean sun, beach, adventures and quality
holiday family time, which gave me sweet childhood memories to
cherish for the rest of my life. Being away from home subconsciously
became a concept that opened up doorways to explore the world outside
my bubble and I loved the thrill of it, new places, new people, new
experiences. Then I was 13 years old when my parents put me on a
plane to stay with a British family in Newcastle as part of a summer
exchange programme and looking back, I have to say it was a milestone
that shaped my life for good. Despite the fact that was the very
first time I encountered the feeling of homesickness, cultural sock,
and being out of my comfort zone at such a young age away from home
alone with language barriers, my hosting family made it a fantastic
experience with their warm and open heart, patience and efforts to
make me feel safe, welcome and home. That also was the very first
time when my wonderful family made me learn that love knows no
distance because our bond, their unconditional love, emotional
support and faith in me will always conquer over the miles between
us. Knowing that they are my safe heaven no matter what, I came up
with one crazy idea after the other, which they have relentlessly
supported me in throughout the years. Without that, I wouldn't be
where I am today and would certainly not be the person I have become
through the journey of the last 8 years!
I was 18 when I decided
to take a 6-month leave from secondary school to go to Sevilla to
work as an au-pair with the aim to obtain the highest level language
certificate whilst diving into the Spanish culture and despite my
school director educating my parents on how irresponsible it was for
them to agree to my proposal (because going to Spain on my own being
18 for 6months could only result in getting into partying hard, drugs
and guys....yeah, that is how 'open-minded' the Hungarian educational
system is even when students like me with straight A's want to do
something outside the box for their personal development.. oh yes,
just for the record, I was in a bilingual Spanish-English education
so me wanting to work my bum off in a native environment to get a
piece of paper stating that my Spanish is on the level of a native
speaker surely shouldn't have been such a provoking aspiration,
especially because I insisted on not being taken out my original
class delayed with a year by taking exams in all my subjects upon my
return to cover what I missed in my absence!), they trusted my better
judgement and let me go anyway. Because of me going against the norms
with my little trip (even though I came back with that piece of paper
in my pocket, not pregnant, not addicted to drugs and passed all my
exams so I could continue my education right on schedule), I was
facing a lot of hardship from my teachers in my final year who still
wanted to prove a point about me rebelling against our 'efficient'
educational system (how did I dare giving provoking ideas to other
students?!). No surprise I had no intention to go onto university
back home, I wanted to break out from an environment that expects you
to stand in the line by putting limitations on everything rather than
seeking potential for growth (very sad, but that is the harsh reality
which has always made it impossible for me to see myself moving back
home no matter what a comfortable life I could be living there with
my credentials).
So there I was, onto my
next 'crazy' move: Got accepted by a Danish university in Randers to
study Hospitality Management in an international class, and what
pissed my teachers off even more than the fact that I had no interest
in getting into any of the Hungarian universities was that I had my
spot secured in Denmark 3 months before our final year exams (you
really have to sweat on your final year exams to score high and hope
that your scores will get you into your chosen university) meaning my
future wasn't dependant on my exam results like it should be, with
the system having control over your life (not that I didn't give a
shit about getting decent results anymore but I certainly wasn't
breaking my neck). That was my free pass card to start living a life
driven by my own choices in the pursuit of happiness, I just had no
idea how much strength it would take to actually make the most out of
it instead of throwing the towel in (which I would have probably done
a few times if it wasn't for the magic powers of my parents who
always knew how to get me through the tough times with their love,
compassion, guidance and inspiration even from such a distance).
My time in Denmark,
complete strangers that became like family away from home and the
process of moving on from it all after a year taught me one of the
most crucial life lesson anyone crazy enough to move out of their
comfort zone will eventually need to make peace with (and people who
have never walked in the shoes of an expat will never fully
understand): 'You will never completely be at home again, because
part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you
pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one
place'...and I had a very hard time processing that that lesson but
hey, I didn't grab onto my free pass card to turn around the first
time it was more difficult to keep going than it would have been to
turn back.
So off I was onto
Greece for a summer internship in a 4* hotel, that turned out to be
brutal, working and living like a slave- 6 day weeks with 14-15hr in
shifts in 40+ degrees; a dictator manager whose management style was
based on emotional terror and shouting (those months I learnt a lot
about the difference between leadership and management!); bed bugs,
no washing machine, no air conditioning in the staff accommodation
and 2-3 day old leftovers as staff meal once a day (if you were
lucky)...and I was grabbing onto that towel, ready to throw it in any
minute! They say life will always test your commitment to your dreams
through hardship and let me tell you, it was a 'make you or break
you' experience. But the fire in my soul was stronger than the easy
way out of quitting, and that summer I learnt two things: 1-me
breaking is simply not an option and 2-when you find yourself in
challenging circumstances you can choose either to focus on how
freaking difficult life can get or learn to look at it as a
character-building exercise by finding happiness in the little things
(and making a conscious decision to choose the latter that summer has
got me through a lot of dark times since).
And there I was in
England, a place where I went to finish uni, get some work experience
and improve my English, never planning on actually sticking around as
long as I did. A place that matured me beyond measures throughout the
years. A place to which I owe my dearest friendships (I really got to
understand the concept of chosen family), biggest personal and
professional accomplishments (1st class honours degree;
student of the year award despite being the only foreign person in my
class and in full time employment; work promotion to manage a team of
19 and events of up to 200 people whilst juggling university
commitments; the concept of stress and how to deal with it; 2
marathons, 5 half marathons and a sprint triathlon) and my most
educational heartbreaks (yeah, I had a few big ones to learn from). A
place that taught me how to push my own limits (and when not to push
them!) and never to settle for anything less than what sets my soul
on fire. A place where despite being an 'outsider', I learnt that I
can achieve anything I set my mind to, a place that at times made me
sweat blood for my goals but also proved that the hardwork will
always pay off. A place that I consider my foundation for
inner-strength and inspiration for my future journey. A place, that
eventually got me to find my happy place, here, now, in the middle of
nowhere, further from home that I would ever consider coming.
8 years away from home,
alone. Countless moves across 5 countries. Time. Places. People.
Experiences. Hardship and joy. It inevitably changes you as a person.
But from where I stand now, I feel like I owe a love letter to life
because the journey behind me has made me grown into a person I am
grateful to be and has lead me to a place where for the first time in
my life I am at complete peace within myself. I feel like I am where
I have set off to 8 years ago, falling in love with life every single
day (and that is a feeling I have never got anywhere else before). I
gave myself a year on the island before coming here to save up enough
money to go and finally walk the Camino and then move to Barcelona to
open my own cafe, but 4 months into the island life, I feel like the
butterflies I wake up each day with may eventually make me be
flexible on the approach to that dream...
So my message for today
is: You never know what life is hiding for you just around the corner
and you certainly won't find out unless you are ready and willing to
take the turn (as impulsive and bold as that decision may be). We
ought to have plans but going by my own experience, life always knows
better and will step in to redirect you towards bigger and better
things. The journey won't always be pleasant but you are never given
more than you can handle so put your fear of change, fear of the
unknown, fear of judgement to the side and live a life driven by your
own choices! Just remember, we only have one life in this existence
and we ought to live it to the fullest so do it no matter how crazy,
irrational or unconventional that might be perceived by some (or for
that matter, even by yourself) because I firmly believe easy and
happy are two very different measures to live by! And yes, I know my
hippie mentality may not get me rich but I want to stay true to that
little girl of me who when asked in primary school what she wanted to
be as an adult, very naively said 'happy'.🦋
'If you want to be happy, be. Nothing can dirt the light that shines from within.'
Happy Monday x
