Live, laugh and love wholeheartedly until there is time- In memory of Zalan Orcsik.

All my life if anyone asked me what my biggest fear is, my answer would always be that one day I receive a phone call that changes everything forever because there will be no more time. No more time to reach out to that person, no more time to look into that person's eyes, no more time to hear that person's voice, no more time to exchange thoughts, feelings, dreams and fears with that person, no more time to make memories together because all you have of that person is memories in itself... The time of those heartbeats, the time of that person in this existence is up. There is no more time to make up for the time you have lost, no more time to have one last conversation, no more time to express your gratitude for their presence in your life, no more time to speak those unspoken words, no more time to say your goodbye.

And for the first time in my life, having no more time makes me late, so very late... I am two years late since our last conversation (which I would have never assumed was going to be our very last one) and one year late with my grief. Yes, that is how much you can let yourself lose touch with someone you deeply care about that it takes you a whole year to accidentally find out that they are gone, for good. I have always been a girl trying to life by the saying 'In the end, we only regret chances we didn't take.', a girl who has always taken chances no matter how bold, how scary, how 'out-of-my-comfort zone' they might be because when I get to the end of my road, I want to look back and see a fully lived life behind me, not an empty one filled with regrets. And yet, here I am for the first time ever, with this unfamiliar, heavy and painful feeling called regret. I now understand what regret feels like because two years ago I made a decision driven by fear. 

Our story with Zalan started 10 years ago and as we always joked about it since, we used to have this boomerang effect on each other's life. I would be gone for a long time, then go home for a visit, we would see each other and have the most wonderful and soulful conversations, then I would leave again, we would both get back to our everyday lives with sometimes exchanging messages, checking in on each other until the boomerang effect would hit the next time again we see each other in person. And years were running by, we could go months, even years without being in touch but the boomerang effect would repeat itself over and over pulling us like magnets to meet each other again and again (even if we didn't plan to, we would still bump into each other every time). Until, there we were two years ago, adults, both single, trying to make sense of why our paths were still crossing each other's after all those years...on the edge of willingness to finally give into the sparks that we always had between us, on the edge of willingness to throw all logic out the window that had kept us away from ever doing that (I had my life settled in Manchester with no plans to move back home and he had his life settled in my hometown). Zalan bought a plane ticket to Manchester to come and visit me for a few days to show how willing he was to give up his life back home, if we decided to finally give us a chance, together... And two weeks before his flight I got scared. For the first time in my life, I was terrified by giving love a chance. I was scared of the responsibility that comes with someone moving out of their comfort zone for me, I was scared of what people back home might think if this wasn't working out, I was scared to get scares on my heart again. So in our very last phone conversation I asked him not to come. Driven by fear of the unknown, I told him I couldn't put him or myself through this. He understood it, he respected it but he also made me promise that this was the last time we let this boomerang effect turn each other's lives upside down. He did add that this promise wouldn't apply for our next lives because he believed that then we could maybe get a chance to change the ending of our story, and he promised to be waiting for our next boomerang effect there and then with a place in his heart for me. And with that said, we parted for the very last time...

Zalan committed suicide a year ago. My family knew that the news would break me down and they decided not to tell me about it until I am home the next time so I wouldn't have to face grief alone in the distance. They also knew that the chances of me finding out about it living so far away were very slim. And they were right in both regards. The news even two years after our last contact shattered me into pieces and the chances of me finding out about Zalan being gone were that slim that it took my intuition a whole year to wake up and realise that it had been long since I saw any of his social media activity. So as you do living in the 21^st century, you go onto facebook and start searching among your list of friends. No results found. By this, I wasn't that surprised since our thinking was quite similar in many ways, I simply thought he must have blocked me to ensure I couldn't get in touch with him even if I wanted to break my promise. So Google came next. And there it was, his picture and date of death. And that sinking feeling of shock, loss, sadness and remorse hitting me like strong waves of grief because all the sudden the chance to ever solve our 'unfinished business', at least in this lifetime, perished. Instead, what there was, all these 'what could have, would have, should have' monologues running through my head and heart. And that is the most painful state I have ever found myself in because for the first time in my life there is no more time to change the storyline, I cannot hope that fate will make us bump into each other again the next time I am home so I can say all the things I didn't the last time we spoke.

Last week I came across an audio recording of a Tony Robbins seminar that left me with a powerful message resonating. He was talking about how we, as individuals, are in charge of and responsible for our own emotions. He said no one and nothing can make you feel a certain way, it is YOU who gives into and gets consumed by that particular (negative/ character-testing) emotion without questioning or navigating it. It is only YOU who can turn that emotion around in a constructive way, neutralising your perception of what triggered that emotion. And as the ONLY thing we have control over in this world is ourselves, he suggested that the next time a particular character-testing emotion arises, a simple question would be asked: 'What else could this mean?'. So after two days of uncontrollable tears and immerse pain of loss, I decided to ask myself the same question... What else could Zalan's death mean for my life? And the answer from the universe came loud and clear as his legacy: 'Live, laugh and love wholeheartedly until there is time'.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason therefore as much as it hurts, deep in my heart I know so did this. I also know, the only way to honour Zalan's memory is by me making a conscious decision to live life with no fear. No fear of the unknown, no fear of judgement, no fear of love, no fear of getting hurt, no fear of being outside my comfort zone. That is his footprint on my life and those are the terms I promised myself to live by. I do have to say, taking the first step with that promise in mind was the hardest! Only 2 days after those waves of emotions started hitting me, our team appreciation surfing treat came at the very right time to test my willingness to keep my promise. As much as I was temped to just cancel on my participation (an hour before setting off my tears of grief were still running like river) I decided to pull myself together and let the waves of the ocean start healing my heart and soul. Coming from a country with no sea, not used to and comfortable with the ocean, I jumped straight into the waves of my fear. And it was the most liberating, both mindful and active thing I have ever done in my life! And I know, he would be very proud of that...

So my message for today is this: Every single day of your life, every single person in your life, every single heartbeat in your life is a gift. Do not take any of it for granted because you never know when the time of a life is up... Live your life fully and on your own terms, make bold choices, love deeply and make sure you never leave words unspoken and experiences unlived because all you have is the NOW. There are no guarantees that we get another chance at doing so tomorrow! And for me, this realisation, this life lesson is a gift from him, which I will dearly cherish forever. Don't wait for loss to hit until you realise how privileged we are to be alive and to be given the free will to live our lives on our own terms! After all, you owe it not only to yourself but also to people who love you to make the most out of this unpredictable and wonderful journey called life. So live, laugh and love wholeheartedly until there is time!

Zalan, tudom hogy az angollal mindig hadilabon altal de azt is tudom hogy ott ahol most vagy, minden szavat ennek a bucsu levelnek pontosan erted. 'Pont egy pillanat eleg ahhoz, hogy eleted konyveben vegre lapozz'. A gyertyafenyes vacsorat amire sose kerult sorunk igerem meguljuk valamelyik kovetkezo eletunkben es kibogozzuk majd ezeket az itteniben osszegabalyodott szalakat...

Addig is, koszonok mindent es kivanom hogy a napsugarak simogassak borostas arcodat!

Szeretettel,

Adel x

Blessings in disguise.

9 months to date today that I set foot on the island. And I haven't left since, this being the longest time I have ever been away from home, family and friends and without a holiday (and sunshine in general). Talking about lockdown and social distancing? Looking back, I can't help but feel like mine had started long before the corona times kicked in, I just wasn't aware of it until they both became word-wide known terms... The island has shattered into pieces that girl who got off that plane in August in more ways that I could have ever imagined and could have prepared for. But you know what? I am so grateful for all the realisations that these turbulent times made me come to. 'Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.' And that road made me become a different person. That road made me find and appreciate blessings in disguise. That road made me reconnect with myself and life more than ever before. That road made me meet my shadows, face and let go of my fears, see my downfalls, find strength within, gain clarity, speak my truth, become comfortable with minimalism, simplicity, solitude and live life with a passion whilst finding joy in moments that before I would have perceived as 'meaningless/ordinary/dull'. That road made me discover my raw and naked soul. And let me tell you, once you step into that state of awareness and alertness within yourself, healing, transformation and empowerment will naturally happen to you, through you, for you and around you.

9 months.

Three house moves.

Starting from a tiny single room in a shared household with 7 middle-aged men, with one bathroom and kitchen for all. After leaving my beloved studio apartment behind in England with only 2 bags of my life on me, those living conditions felt like drastic measures... but they served a great purpose in teaching me how to let go of attachment to comfort- stage 1 of self-discovery. Struggles and discomfort are gifts from the universe if you pay close attention to them. And if you choose to internally grow through those experiences, life will always reward you with an upgrade. Mine came in the form of a 15 m2 studio container box, which as empty as it was when I moved in (I didn't even own a fork), felt like a palace as it was ALL mine! No matter how getting out of bed would mean that I would straight away find myself standing in the 'kitchen', after 3 months I could finally have shower barefoot without my slippers on (little things matter!). And there I was, facing stage 2 of my self-discovery. With winter just starting and me having to walk to town to catch the bus to work, the elements challenged me to let go of attachment to comfort in a different way. With one physical panic attack suffered through one of these walks, words cannot describe the gratitude I feel for my second upgrade that came in the form of the most beautiful 48 m2 flat that I have ever lived in on my own, with walking now not being a must but an option to get to work. And in a place where the flat hunt really is an act of looking for a needle in a haystack, the universe was very loving to me when after me being given notice on my container box, it brought me THE perfect home that I could have ever asked for in a space of a couple of weeks (with more people than living space, it is not unusual even for locals to have to wait months to find something suitable to move to). It's been a real character-building journey, but here I am now in my own spacious, bright, quiet and comfortable bubble where I wake up each morning and go to bed each night with genuine appreciation in my heart and that, I am truly grateful for.

One long, dark and rough Nordic winter.

With my sun-loving spirit and Mediterranean soul, it was the most suffocating, painful, out-of-control and yet the most grounding time of my life to date. In my previous blog piece I was talking about mental health and with the Nordic winter stage 3 of my self-discovery was set into motion, challenging that to the core. As the saying goes 'Sometimes you have to lose yourself completely to find yourself', and I certainly did just that. I have always been a blunt girl not willing to compromise on happiness even if that comes with bold and tough decisions: Your job doesn't make you happy? Change it! Your relationship makes you cry more than laugh? Change it! You don't like the person you are becoming? Change it! You don't feel empowered by the life you live? Change it! But for the very first time in my life, I couldn't physically change the source of discomfort. I couldn't change the fact that a brutal Nordic winter was roaring not only around me but in me as well... And only through this experience I could learn the art of 'surrender'. To accept that what is, is out of my control. To let myself feel, acknowledge and analyse those emotions that came with it because they would lovingly teach me things about myself I have been unaware of until now, with a purpose behind them. Surrendering won't necessarily make you happy but it will bring you peace (I learnt the hard way!). And that, it is one of the most powerful lessons I have ever learnt in life and that, I am truly grateful for.

One (another) failed relationship.

I thought last year was a tough ride when in the space of 24 hours I ended my dysfunctional relationship and quit my career with no job to walk into. Well, try ending your relationship in the middle of corona times, showing the ONLY person his way out the door that could physically bring you comfort in isolation, with no outbound flights to get home to your family this time to help you pick up the pieces like they did last year... But hey, your relationship makes you cry more than laugh? Change it! So I did, stepping into stage 4 of self-discovery. No one likes to broadcast their shortcomings, but I will do it anyway because the last few weeks have given me the time and space I needed to really look within myself and come to some difficult realisations about my accountability for the failure of my past relationships (and there were way too many, which with this one too out the door couldn't go unnoticed!). Although the type of my exes couldn't be further from each other (white/mixed race; brown/blue-eyed; skinny/muscly; long hair/bold; manual labourer/office worker/manager; artist/nerd/intellectual; introvert/extrovert; single/in a relationship/separated with two kids- I am not proud of the 'in a relationship' one but I was young, naive and in love and at that time I didn't know better...we all learn from our mistakes;  Hungarian /Belgian/ Scottish/ British/ Faroese), my choice in men has always had a pattern as I came to acknowledge this time. A pattern that would destine the relationship for failure without fail. A pattern that I created within myself. A pattern that would make me attract men from different backgrounds, different walks of life, different nationalities and with different age gaps and yet, all having the very same impact on my life. And the root of that is within me. I can't help but realise that life always presents us with the same test in different forms to see whether we have learnt our lesson, and until we do, we will always fail the test. Like I have once again... BUT, as much as I cannot speak for what the future holds regarding my love life, I firmly believe that with the conclusions I have come to, I am now allowing myself (for the first time in my life) to break that pattern through doing the work needed within me. And with that, I am giving space for that magical, passionate, extraordinary and unconditional love -in which winter is not the main season- that I am convinced is out there for all of us, if we dare not to settle for less. That space, which starts with self-love and self-awareness. And that space, I am truly grateful for.

One pandemic.

The world is falling apart. But remember, ruin is a gift. We cannot change the uncertainty, the tragedy and misfortune that thousands of people are going through right now but we can change how these turbulent times impact our own lives. Do you pay attention to the messages the universe is trying to send you? Are you finding the blessings in disguise? Has the value of laughter, hug, health and time increased compared to the value of money, success and acquired social status in your life? Are you going to come out of lockdown as a stronger, better, kinder and more compassionate person not taking things you have for granted? Stage 5 of self-discovery. Being officially stuck in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean making this journey emotionally feel like month 9 of walking the Camino on Faroese grounds in solitude. But as much as my heart and soul are longing to be home with my family in these times, this is a life-changing pilgrimage that I have to undertake on my own. I may not know when the time will come when I am able to get on a plane home but one thing I know for sure, for the first time in the 8 years of my wanders, the meaning of home has gained a completely new perspective. And that realisation, I am truly grateful for.

One happy place.

Stage 6 of self-discovery. Life is only worth living on your own terms, doing what you love, loving what you do, no matter what people's perception is of that. I had a hard time learning to disregard the negative judgement that instantly is put on me as a person, on my level of capabilities, intelligence and ambition when someone meeting me for the first time would ask what I do for a living and I would proudly say I make pizzas. And the second those words come out of my mouth, end of discussion, the 'foreign pizza girl' label is on me. So be it (although I would very often like to ask those people how much value their job is adding to their lives...)! Believe me, not in a million years I would have ever imagined that from managing a team in a Caesars Entertainment Venue whilst graduating uni with a 1^st and student of the year award in my pocket in England, I would find passion, love and fulfillment through my babies 🍕 working on an island that I had never heard of before coming here... For the first time in my life, work is my happy bubble, my safe heaven, which got me through a rough start, a dark winter, a painful breakup, the absence of social circle and support system and is getting me through my growing homesickness with a brilliant team and an outstanding boss. It really is my happy place and that, I am truly grateful for.

9 months. One Hungarian girl wandering a long way from home. One island that has become the biggest teacher of my life. A one-way self-discovery journey beyond my wildest dreams. Countless life lessons and blessings in disguise. And all the above, I am truly grateful for.

My message for today: What are YOU grateful for in these turbulent times? Take a pen and paper, write them down for yourself and absorb those feel-good energies that come with each word! Having a bad day? Read through your list to remind yourself you are loved!

Happy Tuesday 🦋 x

Surrender.

The last few weeks brought me some valuable lessons along what I consider to be my spiritual journey on the island, and they have been far from pleasant... And because it is OK not to be OK when you are going through hard times, after my 'Love letter to life' I am dedicating this piece to speak up about mental health. A term that in my opinion is treated by many to be as taboo to openly speak about as it is sex and yet, all aspects that determine our quality of life root from our mental state. So in this twisted world of oversharing our happy moments (which sometimes are only seemingly happy), opinion, outrage and disappointment on social media (and even if you are not one to share much of it, you are inevitably hit by what you find on your newsfeed scrolling down), let's make some space for what truly matters, and that is YOU...and I really mean the core of you!

Talking from my personal experience, here is what I know. When you are in control of your mental health and not your mental health in control of you, you have more physical energy, you get out of bed ready to take on the world. You feel inspired and motivated. You face and overcome challenges with more ease and clarity, you tackle anything coming your way with a 'how can this be solved?' attitude (the glass is half full) instead of a 'how can this NOT be solved?' attitude (the glass is half empty). Your focus is sharper, and you focus on the right things. Your temper is calmer and you react to stress in a more composed manner. Your work performance is better, you find yourself naturally more productive and proactive. Your relationships are more stable and meaningful, and you nurture them. You are able to express love and care for others in a deeper way because you consciously exercise self-love and self-care (remember, you can't pour from an empty glass). You smile and make other people smile. You are radiant, with positive vibes that shine from the inside. You find beauty in the little things. You feel grateful. You sleep better. You eat better. Your thoughts compose a gentle but empowering melody in your head instead of constant and intimidating noise. You are in your happy place (at least, this is how I would describe my happy place, a state of euphoria in which I am in complete control over my thoughts, feelings and emotions).

Now, let's see (again, talking from my personal experience), what those factors are that influence our mental state regardless how much credit we give to them: private life, family life, social life, work life (so far, the list is quite obvious, right?!) and the physical factors of our surroundings (adding this to my list was a game changer as I have only just acknowledged the power of it!). Well, the last few weeks made me feel like I have been trading on very thin ice in many of those areas. Most people aim to eliminate risk factors in their lives (the ice is less likely to break in your comfort zone), but I have always been an 'all-in' kind of girl, trusting that everything coming my way is there with a purpose to make me grow, learn and develop a deeper understanding of the world and of myself. And that process of growth can get very painful and turbulent, resulting in times when both the inside and outside world feel like a battlefield making you feel extremely fragile and vulnerable. You feel completely out of touch with yourself and you start experiencing the opposite effect of all the above listed signs of being in your happy place. First, your mental health (just like your physical body would) is sending you signals that it feels weak- at this stage, the emotional suffering is occasional and if you can find the root in one of the 5 influencing factors and solve the cause, you can bring it back to balance without major outbreaks. If you decide not to or don't know how to act on those signals, the process moves into the next stage with alarms of it falling ill. At this stage, the emotional suffering becomes more than just having a bad day and the feeling of discomfort becomes stronger and stronger. And when you try to suppress those negative emotions instead of working through and liberating them, they start accumulating and eventually take over your mental health- at this stage, the mind has already fallen ill. Before you know it, you find yourself in a big, dark and scary hole that feels extremely lonely. And whether you like to admit it or not, we have all been there at some points in our lives, the only question is how quickly we manage to bounce back...

It's been a tough winter. Private life: Challenging. I found love (or rather love found me) bringing alongside those butterflies, certain factors into my life that I have no control over and yet, they indirectly have a huge influence on me. Family life: Distant. The first time in years I couldn't spend Christmas with my family (a special year when all my extended family living abroad got together to spend the holidays back home) and as much as I have learnt to accept missing out on important family gatherings over the years, my heart was truly bleeding this time. Social life: Absent. My phone didn't stop ringing on New Year's Eve with people close to my heart checking in on me, which made me feel very grateful for my wonderful friends -my chosen family away from my family- with whom strings don't seem to have loosened despite the distance, but being reminded of the buzzing social circle and support system I had left behind with my move to the island also brought a sinking feeling (being a social person with a nearly non-existent social life here is a difficult one to process...). Work life: My sunshine. It proved to be my shelter, soul-retreat and source for endorphins getting me through this winter (even if my babies may make me crippled in my wrists and shoulders eventually :D). Physical factors: Rough AF. Lack of daylight, storms with crazy winds, icy roads (on which you can barely stand on your two feet, making it quite challenging if you have to walk to the bus or to get your grocery shopping done like I do). So this is what my 5 influencing factors looked like over the past few months in a nut shell, resulting in:

One panic attack (and I really mean a literal one, and I am not one to get those often!) caused by the strong wind pushing me in front of a car when I couldn't hold my balance in the storm on my way home from grocery shopping (the most out-of-control experience I have ever had!). Restless nights filled with vivid nightmares (my dreams have always been vivid but I never went through a period of this many troubling dreams!). Cooking for survival rather than with a passion, with not much appetite (being as foodie as I am, big warning sign!). Zero kms run (with a marathon coming up in 4 months, even bigger warning sign!). Weeks when even with 9-10 hours of sleep I could hardly get myself out of bed (I had never been one to fall into the 'polar bear' syndrome wanting to sleep through winter before!). And when I wasn't running around war zones in dreamland, that constant noise in my awake head seemed to have returned (the same noise that after years finally stopped when I arrived to this peaceful place in August)...

Doesn't sound like my happy place, right?! So I did what any sun-loving vegan living on the island would do in their right mind, I went to get my blood tested being convinced I must have some kind of vitamin deficiency making me feel this way. And surprise, surprise, the doctor told me my blood results couldn't be better, and being a vegan here that really is something! Then he added, this being my first winter here, it is only natural that psychologically I am having a hard time and told me to hang in there because better days are coming... Knowing that my symptoms weren't rooting from a physical cause, I knew I had to look inward and analyse what was really going on at my core. I am somewhat familiar with this analysis process from last January when the findings of it were very obvious: I was in a dysfunctional relationship and in a job that was killing my soul so it was 'easy' to know how to change those factors. But this time, well, this time the lesson seemed to be very different: surrender...

The main teaching of mindfulness is to accept what is, and as the saying goes: 'When you can't control what's happening, challenge yourself to control how you respond to it. That is where your power lies.' Am I in a challenging relationship? Yes, but I love my man enough not to run away just because things are not straight-forward, good things never come easy! Do I feel further from my family than ever before? Yes, but they are still just one phone call and plane ticket away! Does my social life look very different to the one I left behind? Yes, but as small as my circle is here, it is full of wonderful people loving, supporting and caring for me! Am I among the few lucky people who do what they love and love what they do for a living? Yes, I found magic! And last but very much not least, is winter tough on the island? Yes it very much is, but if I survived this winter, there really is nothing I can't survive because as my Mum always says, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!

So my message for today is: It is OK not to be OK, speak up when you feel down so people that love and care for you can help you through the winters of life, don't suffer in silence (even if it is just a bad day)! But remember, no one can do the analysis of where you stand in the matrix of those influencing factors for you! Check in with yourself regularly, pay close attention to your thoughts, feelings and emotions to keep your mental health in balance. And if you find certain areas of your life out of balance, change for the better what you have control over and accept what you don't, either way the choice is always yours. So instead of trying to fight the forces, learn to play with the wind and create your own sunshine even on days when the sun doesn't seem to come up! Last week I had to say goodbye to a dear friend who grew close to my heart and his last words of wisdom to me were before exiting the island for good: 'Adel, always remember that you are at the core of your own universe!'. And so are YOU of yours! 

Happy Tuesday 🦋 x

My love letter to life.

'You are going to be happy,' said life, 'but first I'll make you strong'.

I grew up with travelling being natural part of life. As a child, I was on the road to Romania with my family a lot visiting relatives and getting lost in the woods up in the Transilvanian mountains (where life was as remote as it is here on the Faroe Islands), or on the road to Croatia to indulge in the Mediterranean sun, beach, adventures and quality holiday family time, which gave me sweet childhood memories to cherish for the rest of my life. Being away from home subconsciously became a concept that opened up doorways to explore the world outside my bubble and I loved the thrill of it, new places, new people, new experiences. Then I was 13 years old when my parents put me on a plane to stay with a British family in Newcastle as part of a summer exchange programme and looking back, I have to say it was a milestone that shaped my life for good. Despite the fact that was the very first time I encountered the feeling of homesickness, cultural sock, and being out of my comfort zone at such a young age away from home alone with language barriers, my hosting family made it a fantastic experience with their warm and open heart, patience and efforts to make me feel safe, welcome and home. That also was the very first time when my wonderful family made me learn that love knows no distance because our bond, their unconditional love, emotional support and faith in me will always conquer over the miles between us. Knowing that they are my safe heaven no matter what, I came up with one crazy idea after the other, which they have relentlessly supported me in throughout the years. Without that, I wouldn't be where I am today and would certainly not be the person I have become through the journey of the last 8 years!

I was 18 when I decided to take a 6-month leave from secondary school to go to Sevilla to work as an au-pair with the aim to obtain the highest level language certificate whilst diving into the Spanish culture and despite my school director educating my parents on how irresponsible it was for them to agree to my proposal (because going to Spain on my own being 18 for 6months could only result in getting into partying hard, drugs and guys....yeah, that is how 'open-minded' the Hungarian educational system is even when students like me with straight A's want to do something outside the box for their personal development.. oh yes, just for the record, I was in a bilingual Spanish-English education so me wanting to work my bum off in a native environment to get a piece of paper stating that my Spanish is on the level of a native speaker surely shouldn't have been such a provoking aspiration, especially because I insisted on not being taken out my original class delayed with a year by taking exams in all my subjects upon my return to cover what I missed in my absence!), they trusted my better judgement and let me go anyway. Because of me going against the norms with my little trip (even though I came back with that piece of paper in my pocket, not pregnant, not addicted to drugs and passed all my exams so I could continue my education right on schedule), I was facing a lot of hardship from my teachers in my final year who still wanted to prove a point about me rebelling against our 'efficient' educational system (how did I dare giving provoking ideas to other students?!). No surprise I had no intention to go onto university back home, I wanted to break out from an environment that expects you to stand in the line by putting limitations on everything rather than seeking potential for growth (very sad, but that is the harsh reality which has always made it impossible for me to see myself moving back home no matter what a comfortable life I could be living there with my credentials).

So there I was, onto my next 'crazy' move: Got accepted by a Danish university in Randers to study Hospitality Management in an international class, and what pissed my teachers off even more than the fact that I had no interest in getting into any of the Hungarian universities was that I had my spot secured in Denmark 3 months before our final year exams (you really have to sweat on your final year exams to score high and hope that your scores will get you into your chosen university) meaning my future wasn't dependant on my exam results like it should be, with the system having control over your life (not that I didn't give a shit about getting decent results anymore but I certainly wasn't breaking my neck). That was my free pass card to start living a life driven by my own choices in the pursuit of happiness, I just had no idea how much strength it would take to actually make the most out of it instead of throwing the towel in (which I would have probably done a few times if it wasn't for the magic powers of my parents who always knew how to get me through the tough times with their love, compassion, guidance and inspiration even from such a distance).

My time in Denmark, complete strangers that became like family away from home and the process of moving on from it all after a year taught me one of the most crucial life lesson anyone crazy enough to move out of their comfort zone will eventually need to make peace with (and people who have never walked in the shoes of an expat will never fully understand): 'You will never completely be at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place'...and I had a very hard time processing that that lesson but hey, I didn't grab onto my free pass card to turn around the first time it was more difficult to keep going than it would have been to turn back.

So off I was onto Greece for a summer internship in a 4* hotel, that turned out to be brutal, working and living like a slave- 6 day weeks with 14-15hr in shifts in 40+ degrees; a dictator manager whose management style was based on emotional terror and shouting (those months I learnt a lot about the difference between leadership and management!); bed bugs, no washing machine, no air conditioning in the staff accommodation and 2-3 day old leftovers as staff meal once a day (if you were lucky)...and I was grabbing onto that towel, ready to throw it in any minute! They say life will always test your commitment to your dreams through hardship and let me tell you, it was a 'make you or break you' experience. But the fire in my soul was stronger than the easy way out of quitting, and that summer I learnt two things: 1-me breaking is simply not an option and 2-when you find yourself in challenging circumstances you can choose either to focus on how freaking difficult life can get or learn to look at it as a character-building exercise by finding happiness in the little things (and making a conscious decision to choose the latter that summer has got me through a lot of dark times since).

And there I was in England, a place where I went to finish uni, get some work experience and improve my English, never planning on actually sticking around as long as I did. A place that matured me beyond measures throughout the years. A place to which I owe my dearest friendships (I really got to understand the concept of chosen family), biggest personal and professional accomplishments (1^st class honours degree; student of the year award despite being the only foreign person in my class and in full time employment; work promotion to manage a team of 19 and events of up to 200 people whilst juggling university commitments; the concept of stress and how to deal with it; 2 marathons, 5 half marathons and a sprint triathlon) and my most educational heartbreaks (yeah, I had a few big ones to learn from). A place that taught me how to push my own limits (and when not to push them!) and never to settle for anything less than what sets my soul on fire. A place where despite being an 'outsider', I learnt that I can achieve anything I set my mind to, a place that at times made me sweat blood for my goals but also proved that the hardwork will always pay off. A place that I consider my foundation for inner-strength and inspiration for my future journey. A place, that eventually got me to find my happy place, here, now, in the middle of nowhere, further from home that I would ever consider coming.

8 years away from home, alone. Countless moves across 5 countries. Time. Places. People. Experiences. Hardship and joy. It inevitably changes you as a person. But from where I stand now, I feel like I owe a love letter to life because the journey behind me has made me grown into a person I am grateful to be and has lead me to a place where for the first time in my life I am at complete peace within myself. I feel like I am where I have set off to 8 years ago, falling in love with life every single day (and that is a feeling I have never got anywhere else before). I gave myself a year on the island before coming here to save up enough money to go and finally walk the Camino and then move to Barcelona to open my own cafe, but 4 months into the island life, I feel like the butterflies I wake up each day with may eventually make me be flexible on the approach to that dream...

So my message for today is: You never know what life is hiding for you just around the corner and you certainly won't find out unless you are ready and willing to take the turn (as impulsive and bold as that decision may be). We ought to have plans but going by my own experience, life always knows better and will step in to redirect you towards bigger and better things. The journey won't always be pleasant but you are never given more than you can handle so put your fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of judgement to the side and live a life driven by your own choices! Just remember, we only have one life in this existence and we ought to live it to the fullest so do it no matter how crazy, irrational or unconventional that might be perceived by some (or for that matter, even by yourself) because I firmly believe easy and happy are two very different measures to live by! And yes, I know my hippie mentality may not get me rich but I want to stay true to that little girl of me who when asked in primary school what she wanted to be as an adult, very naively said 'happy'.🦋

'If you want to be happy, be. Nothing can dirt the light that shines from within.'

Happy Monday x

A journey beyond my wildest dreams.

3 months into the island life and I feel like a completely new person compared to the girl who got off the plane in August. I knew this would be a life-changing adventure but I had no idea that it would be a journey beyond my wildest dreams. If someone on New Year's Eve had told me that in 10 months I would be single (at the time I had a boyfriend with whom I was planning a future with), living on my own in a 15 m2 container box (new Scandinavian building style) on an island that I had never heard before (Brexiting the UK and giving up my goal of obtaining the British passport one year before my qualifying time?!) where I would move to make pizzas (making pizzas with a first-class honours degree and getting back to hospitality from the world of recruitment?!) after a period of being high on life -and no, I wouldn't need mind altering substances to feel that way- in Nottingham that I would cherish for the rest of my life (moving back to Nottingham from Manchester and get back to square one?!), I would have laughed at them with deep conviction that they must be out of their mind to say such nonsense.

10 months. The lowest and highest moments of my life. One alien face (emotional mumps resulting in half a swollen face) that started the chain reaction of drastic changes that some may say would be enough for a lifetime. One dead-end career quitting. One dead-end relationship ending. The longest time I have ever spent in the comfort of home, sweet home over the last 8 years since moving abroad, not having a clue what the f*ck I was going to do with my life. One city move. One 'business partner' who as much as stepped me in the back, made me discover my passion for making pizza babies (and everything aside, I will forever be grateful to her for that). One community of wonderful people who not only gave me a sense of belonging, but taught me to embrace my #happinessrevolution mindset alongside my happy dance and organised the most memorable birthday/farewell party I could have ever asked for (well, memories of it are blurred but my burnt hair suggested it was a blast :D). One big reconnection with my dearest friend/ chosen family/ partner-in-crime that reminded me that bonds may not always be visible between soulmates but could never really been torn apart. One calling from fate which resulted in me taking a leap of faith and moving not only countries but outside the EU. 6 months in total of travel restriction starting from the day I set foot on the land of rainbows, waterfalls and maybes in order to obtain working and living visa for a year ('minor' detail that wasn't shared upfront the move). Dream wages promoted (the 40% taxes on wages and the cost of living being about 40% higher than in the UK take you quickly back to reality from dreamland) that never hit your account without having to chase them. One of the smallest capitals in the world with lambs, horses and chickens in the back yards. 2 bags of my life on me. 3 dreadful but character-building months in very challenging living conditions. Going back to basics, proper hippie life. Minimalism. Solitude. Peace. Quietness. Soul-retreat. Remote island life.

Here I am sat in the motivational corner of my happy little bubble where I moved into a week ago, feeling more inspired by life than ever before. I have a bed, a kettle, a set of plates and cutlery, a mug, a glass, a chopping board, a pan and a pot (oh, and I also treated myself to a potato masher so I don't have to mash potatoes with a fork anymore!). And for the first time in 3 months I can finally have a shower without my slippers on! And when you burst out in a big smile everytime you step into the shower barefoot simply because you feel blessed to be able to do that, well... that is the moment you realise how much life has put things into perspective and taught you to appreciate what you have no matter how little that is. I don't have my fancy kitchen appliances, a wardrobe with the abundance of clothes to choose from nor my beloved shoe and bag collection to match my outfits...The level of comfort in materialistic measures is well below what I was used to and yet, I feel more comfortable than ever before. I walk 20 minutes to the bus in 'Siberian' weather to get to work (time to look for a proper water and wind proof winter coat but that mission will be a challenging one as I am not willing to give up on my sense of style -yet- and put a boring black thing on that looks like a giant layered bin bag for the price of gold!) fighting the elements (but hey, I started to sing out loud listening to music while walking to downtown because A. it keeps me and my spirit warm and B. in the strong wind no one can hear that I may have gone crazy :D)... The level of comfort in climate measures is weeeeeell below what thought I could handle and yet, I embrace it thinking if I can survive here without a car sometimes walking 45 minutes with my shopping to get home (on a badly timed weekend day when I miss the bus that only runs once an hour), I will surely survive on the Camino! And it is all worth it!

For the first time, work is part of my soul-retreat (not something I need to get away for soul-retreat from!). I have an amazing boss, my pizza babies and 4 teenage guys working alongside me (yes, the island is in such a deep hole employment-wise with more jobs than workforce that it is normal for youngsters still in school to fill the gaps) who I love to pieces even if sometimes I feel like they are training me for the challenging times of motherhood. Financially me being here may not be as rewarding as expected but I am gaining so much more then money! I am learning from an outstanding, passionate and down to earth entrepreneur how to run a successful and well-respected business despite the challenges of workforce, suppliers and limited working space. I have met some amazing chefs who are always happy to teach me about basics, something I lack as working in a professional kitchen is very different to the pizza world I fell in love with without any conscious preparation or training (and as much as I have a passion for cooking, I am a passionate amateur when it comes to kitchen skills and knowledge, and I will certainly need to work on those if I ever want to run my own cafe one day...). My social circle is as tiny as the island is compared to the rest of the world, but I am surrounded by wonderful people whose genuine generosity makes me feel blessed beyond measures, whether that means getting out of bed at midnight to give me a ride home from work if there is no one else to give me a lift (I live 1 hour walk away and the buses don't run at night), buying vegan butter for me because they know I have struggled to find it anywhere, letting me crash for the night at their place (and always having at least hummus in their fridge for me) just to get me out from the nightmare of the crazy household I was living in, or offering me a winter jacket so I don't have to buy one for a price that nearly equals to the amount of my rent (I have received a phone call from a friend just now saying she is coming to town and is bringing one of her own ones for me to keep if it fits and I like it). And last but very much not least, the island has made me reconnect with myself on a deeper level than I had ever got to do before. It really feels like I am on a spiritual journey towards becoming a better, calmer, happier and more balanced version of myself because the island has kicked me right out of my comfort zone and shaken the fog out of my head that looking back now, I think I had been living with. All that external and inner noise, all that stuff that we get wrapped up in whilst willingly putting ourselves into emotional and materialistic prison, all that urge to exceed expectations, all that need for validation that we endure in autopilot mode as natural part of our 'modern' way of living, seem to have vanished in me and got replaced with clarity, perspective, gratitude and happiness. I feel deeply grounded, a term that I could never fully understand until now.

I am far from having all the answers but if anything, looking back at the chain reaction of the last 10 months of my life, I learnt the lesson to stop chasing them. Life has its mysterious ways of presenting us with answers to our questions in moments when we are ready and able to not only hear but listen. I am a firm believer in fate, I have always been and will always be (probably this is one of the very few things that the island hasn't made me change my outlook on) but I have to admit there has been an adjustment to my philosophy on that matter. And that is my message for today: don't just go with the flow, BE the flow! Welcome everything you encounter along your way with an open heart, embrace everything and everyone as your teacher in life, let things mould you for the better like a river is shaped by its courses, but always remember you are in complete control over where you are headed. Yes, sometimes we have absolutely no control over certain things that fate/god/the higher power (everyone has the freedom to label it as they wish) rolls into our way but we certainly are in complete control over how we react to both the expected and unexpected. Recognise and appreciate the abundance you already have in your life instead of focusing on the lack of it and even when you find yourself against all odds, stand firm with your flow because 'a river cuts through rock not because of its power but because of its persistence'.

Happy Thursday x

Faroe Islands, here I come!

Number 7 has always carried a special meaning in my life, popping up in unexpected moments as a sign that something good was about to happen. I will never forget, there I was at the boarding gate in Copenhagen waiting for my connection to the Faroe Islands when I saw on the screen that my flight number was 777... fate was sending me a message that as much as I was out of my mind when I decided to take a leap of faith by giving up my whole life based on a one-way plane ticket in my inbox and a vague telephone conversation about a job waiting for me in a place I had never heard before, everything was going to OK. I have to admit, for a brief moment I did question that when the captain before landing announced that due to the short runway space he was going to have to use the breaks harder than you would expect on any other flight whilst looking out the window there was no land to be seen only the ocean beneath... but before I could get to the end of my prayers (as I always say, I am too young to die with a VERY long bucket list full of experiences still to be ticked off) the plane touched ground and I heard 'welcome to the Faroe Islands' on the speaker. Like a little girl stepping into a new and unknown world, I took a moment to stop on my way off-boarding and take the first encounter with my new life all in. The sun was gently stroking my face (I caught one of those lucky moments), the freshness of the air amazed me instantly, vibrant green grass was covering the mountains of rocks on the left and there was the ocean on the right as far as eyes could see. A plane full of passengers just got in and yet there was this echoing quietness and stillness all around. And then a scene from a TV show called 'Men in trees' flashed back in my mind when Marin Frist from New York, wearing high heels arrived to the remote village of Elmo, Alaska and stepped into a muddy puddle getting off her plane (I wasn't wearing high heels but I had two of my favourite pairs carefully packed in my bag. It very soon became clear that I would probably not use them much when I saw a tractor parked on the side of the runway at the airport that only had two boarding gates...). I couldn't help but wonder what on earth had I signed up for?!

And here are the brutally honest facts: I live in a single room (I haven't slept in a single bed since I was at uni in Denmark) in a house with one bathroom (shower and toilet in one space), one kitchen (there wasn't even a chopping board when I moved in) and one washing machine to be shared among 7 of us. And when I say 7 of us (not such a lucky number in this case), I mean me and 6 other men above the age of 40... one who I hardly ever see sober, one who I hardly ever see not being high 'on life' (who also proposed me joining him and his girlfriend in a threesome if I was up for some fun), one who is under strong medication to control his mood swings (and has his mother coming over to clean his room regularly), one gaming addict whose loud speaker I would love to throw out the window, one on long-term sick leave and there was my safe heaven not only keeping everyone in check but taking me under his wings, another crazy enough Hungarian who arrived a few weeks before me (he moved out since, leaving me alone with the battle to try to keep up basic hygiene levels in the house cleaning up shit after people, literally.. ). After living in my studio apartment on my own, in the comfort of a fully equipped household in Nottingham, now I am paying the same amount of rent for this new, rough and minimalist life experience. To top up the challenging living situation, I arrived to the Faroes with no laptop (it gave in 2 days before my flight) and a phone with a broken speaker so there were no movie nights or Youtube for Adel, just an old school mp3 player and two books for entertainment for a month that initially felt like eternity. Back to basics in the deepest sense of the word...a scarf became the yoga mat for my morning pilates, I mash potatoes with a fork, what I can cook depends on what kind of groceries make it to the island on shipping day, no survival goodie parcels from home without VAT paid on them and certainly no smuggling of home-made palinka through customs (perks of living in a non-EU country), one single shop where you can buy alcohol (it closes at 5.30pm on weekdays and 2pm on Saturday), coffee shops with no plant-based milk available (vegan options when eating/drinking out are nearly non-existent), and Sundays when life stops and nothing is open. Is it intimidating to all the sudden find yourself in 'stone age', in what it feels like being away from modern civilization? You bet!

But you know what? I am very grateful for this journey because it has kicked me right out of my comfort zone more than I ever thought it was possible. It has made me re-evaluate a lot of things within myself. It has made me recognise the need to learn to unlearn certain ways, beliefs, mental and emotional programmings that I had been living all my life with before I got here. And let me tell you, as overwhelming that can be at first, it is not only refreshing but extremely liberating. The moment you manage to detach yourself from all the attachments to your comfort zone, minimalism becomes surprisingly comfortable because you realise you need a lot less to feel alive than you think. All you need is to find YOU under the layers of 'stuff' (both emotional and materialistic) that you have subconsciously grown around you. Layers that we tend to hold onto even if they don't serve us. Toxic layers that we don't recognise to be toxic until we are made to let go of them. Stuff that distract us from living in the now.

Here I am at the age of 28 with no settled life, partner nor kids, starting from zero in a new country for the 5^th time, living like a hippie in isolation on a remote place (where the biggest action of the week is to decide which day to do my laundry), making pizzas for a living. According to the expectations of modern society, I may seem like I am running behind on life's schedule because we ought to get a good education, get a well-paid job, buy a house and a car, acquire social status, meet our 'better half', get married, have kids and die. But where is finding true happiness and inner peace within ourselves detached from external factors and living life with a passion among those expectations? How could we ever live a fulfilled life if we don't know how to fulfill ourselves on the first place? And how could we ever fulfill ourselves if we fear a phase of solitude focusing on soul-searching?

Yes, my life is as far from settled as it could possibly be but through this journey of self-discovery I am coming to feel the most settled within myself that I have ever been. Yes, I haven't found my partner for life yet but looking at the patterns of my past relationships I came to realise that subconsciously I always chose 'projects' (people to be fixed) rather than focusing on doing the fixing-up on me so I decided to use this place and time to put the 'under maintenance' label on myself instead. Yes, another move got added to the list of my wanderlust lifestyle (some may describe that as me being a runaway bride not being able to settle in one place) but I would rather embrace the consequences of following my intuition in search of happiness than to settle into a life driven by the fear of change. Yes, my living situation is far from ideal but that is the price I am willing to pay for the life lessons teaching me that when your intention is stronger than the circumstances you find yourself in, you will always find a way to make it work. And yes, I am making pizzas for a living but for the first time, I love going into work because I love what I do, I have an amazing boss that I can look up to both on a professional and personal level and I am part of a team that makes me feel respected, valued and included.

The island became my soul retreat place. An experience that people in the western world pay large amounts of money for in one of those soul retreat facilities with the aim to reconnect with themselves, heal, find inner peace, learn to live in mindfulness and gratitude and discover their purpose in this existence. And here I am surrendered by breathtakingly beautiful nature, feeling like Alice in wonderland everytime I see a rainbow on the sky, feeling more alive and happier than ever before simply because the island life triggered a shift in my mindset. I know my situation is quite exceptional and don't get me wrong I am not saying everyone should leave their comfortable life behind and move to a remote place to experience the wonders it can do to the spirit but my message for today is this: No matter where you are and how busy your life is, take time out for yourself. Just like you take time off to go on holiday, take time off for that inner journey, to check in with yourself, regularly. Nourish your bohosoul so you can shine and share your light because the world needs it!🦋

Happy Tuesday x

Never stop looking for magic!

With an ocean view, I am sat at my desk watching how the waves are hitting the coastline with full force generated by the stormy wind that never seems to stop. Everything is grey and with the constant fog that hasn't lifted from the island over the last few days, it is difficult to say where the ocean and the sky separate. For a girl like me, who all her life has considered herself to be the child of sun, it is a foreign concept to find beauty and comfort in this still greyness, and yet here I am with an even more foreign concept in my heart and soul not feeling like I am in need for a holiday (despite the unkind weather conditions) to check out from my life for a few days. Well, I would certainly not say no to a plane ticket to Barcelona (to my favourite place on earth, I could never say no) but for the first time in my life, I am in love with the grey (literally) everydays.

Back in January when I thought my life was falling apart (let's be honest, no wonder it was as I consciously decided to press the 'restart' button on every single aspect of it without having the 'what comes next' part figured out), I couldn't stand the creeping greyness inside me. There I was back home with my parents crashing on the couch, not only jobless but careerless and heartbroken, out of a relationship that had blinded my better judgement to the point that I had thought I would be marrying the guy one day. Looking at my life felt exactly what it feels like looking out the window right now...dense fog everywhere and no ability to see with clarity regardless how hard I was trying to look in the distance. I felt empty, lost and mortified that at the age of 27 the girl who has always jumped through the hoops looking at the bigger picture, all the sudden had no bigger picture to keep moving towards. I was full of questions regarding life and myself with no answers except one:

'We're all going to die. We don't get much say over how and when, but we do get to decide how we are gonna live. So do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.'

So I decided that since I was going through the most intimidating time of my life, I may as well approach it as a blessing in disguise instead of absolute chaos. A chance that people very rarely get to start all over, and I really mean ALL over. And the moment I shifted my mindset from 'oh my world, my life is falling apart' to 'oh my world, I have a completely blank page in front of me that I can colour with bright colours as I wish', that creeping greyness has lifted from my mind, heart and soul. I felt completely free and in control at the same time because I realised I am the one holding the key to my own happiness, I just had to be bold to get out there and find magic. After very much needed 3 therapeutic weeks back home in the safety net of my wonderful family, I finally felt ready with regained strength to get back on the plane to Manchester where all I had waiting for me was rent to be paid. But I was excited, I had nothing yet I had everything because my bohosoul was finally back! I had this insane, weird and inexplicable feeling in my gut that despite all the options that would suggest me packing up my stuff and leave the UK behind, I still had unfinished business to do there. Magic was waiting for me, I just had to make space for it to enter my life. I truly believe in the law of attraction and that our thoughts and emotions shape our reality. So I had to start shaping my reality by doing the hard work on myself. I started running again but this time to reenergise my whole being not to please my ego. I did a 7-day juice cleanse to detox my body, mind and spirit (I know some might say it is radical to only consume vegetable juices for a week but for the last 4 years, my annual juice fast always worked wonders on me). I got my vision board done (the process of deciding what it is EXACTLY that you want to attract into your life has magic powers in itself), taken my situation among other things I wrote on it 'job that I love' in bright purple letters and hanged it on the wall opposite my bed so that would be the very first and last thing I would set my eyes on each day. I didn't know what that job would be (very difficult to start the job hunt when you don't even know what key word to put into the search bar) but I was sure of one thing: I didn't just want a job to pay my bills, I wanted a career driven by passion that would get me out of bed each morning with excitement and a booming smile on my face... That 'do what you love, love what you do' sort of work (now you might understand my troubles when it came to job hunting)... Not much to ask for, right?!

Weeks passed by scrolling through hundreds of job advertisements and I found nothing that would get me excited (remember, I wasn't just looking for A job). And then fate knocked on my door when I spontaneously bumped into a friend I hadn't seen in years (and just like that, your whole life can change in an instant!) who was in the process of starting her own pizza business. Long story short, I was asked whether I would partner in and although I knew nothing about making pizzas, I knew this: I love cooking (with a successful gastro blogger mum, genuine passion for cooking is in my veins), I love the craziness of hospitality (and being stuck behind a desk, away from face-to-face customer interaction made me realise I missed hospitality more than I valued the 'freedom' of having a Monday to Friday schedule) and playing a key role in a start-up whilst putting everything I had learnt about business in uni would get me one step closer to my dream of running my own vegan cafe one day. So the only question was, could making pizzas for a living make me happy??? Well, well, well...the first time I hand kneaded pizza dough was love at first sight... and seeing how the babies (call me a mad woman but yes, I refer to pizzas as babies) come to life through fermentation, balling up, stretching and then baking was magic. And there it was what I had been searching for all this time but couldn't find the keyword to put in the search bar of google for... MAGIC that fills my heart and soul with excitement, passion, love and happiness! So I packed my stuff and after 3 years I said goodbye to Manchester, moving back to Nottingham where it all had started 6 years ago. Life has mysterious ways, sometimes you find yourself back to square one after walking around in a circle and yet you arrive back to the starting point as a very different person to the one who left the very same place. Moving back to Nottingham after all these years taught me that sometimes you need to lose yourself (as hard as bearing that feeling is) in order to really find yourself.

There I was living and loving life to the fullest. The business was going great, I was earning money being in complete control of my own schedule while doing something I loved, living in my studio apartment (at the age of 27 living on your own for the first time feels like THE official step into adulthood after years of shared apartments), with a buzzing social life surrounded by wonderful people (making up for the golden university times that most have, which I never had a chance to tap into while balancing full time night work with daytime uni commitments for years). I was high on life, with a sense of belonging, feeling like I was home for the first time since I had moved away from Hungary. My dad always says life aims for balance, so when things are going too great, you should kind of expect shit hitting the fan at some point. Well, it certainly did big time when my greedy and insecure 'business partner' decided to sneakily and quietly push me out the business (life lesson learnt, never get involved with anything unless papers are signed and sealed no matter how much you think you can trust someone!). And there is was fate again, knocking on my door once again, at the most incredible timing. As it became more and more apparent that on paper I would never become business partner like I had been promised no matter how much I was putting my heart and soul into getting the business up and running, I got a message from a friend completely out the blue asking whether I would consider coming to the Faroe Islands to make pizzas. I was like, where to??? (I have to admit, I had no clue which side of the earth we were talking about...)

Before I knew it, my happy dance BBQ that I was in the process of organising for my birthday got the 'farewell' noun added to it. I had no logical explanation for my decision to leave my life behind of the 6,5 years in the UK (it wasn't even a matter of packing up my stuff and move, it was a matter of picking stuff out and moving with 2 bags to completely start from zero on a remote island where I don't speak the language, I don't know anything or anyone and with no direct flight to take me home if something was to go wrong), it was more like a calling, fate telling me I just had to trust the opportunity that I got presented with jumping into uncertainty once again. Even for a girl like me who is a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, making such a drastic and quick life-changing decision was mad. But hey, I have never been known to play it safe as in the end we only regret the chances we didn't take. And I had my butterflies wings to keep me safe! That is how fate brought me to the land of lambs, waterfalls, rainbows and maybes exactly 2 months ago and I got to say, I couldn't be more grateful for this journey! Since this blog piece once again got long enough already, I will elaborate on my remote life here the next time, but my message for today is this: Life is unpredictable. Hardship, challenges and uncertainty are thrown at us with the aim for growth. Be bold, take chances and never stop believing that everything you encounter in life is there to serve you with a purpose. Life lessons to be learnt, changes to be made, work to be done on yourself, and all of that for you to become a better version of yourself! Fight for your bohosoul against the odds because happiness never comes easy but it is certainly worth it 🦋

Happy Saturday! x